Teamwork!

Great but busy day at work today! I'm OH SO THANKFUL for having supportive nurses, techs, and, yes, even MD's! I realize that I have more respect for others (and myself) when actions take place from a place of calm, assertive, and collected energy. I value efficiency and get frustrated when things don't flow effectively. Alas, it's my lack of patience that ends up short-changing me. I'll work on it! SCOUT'S HONOR.

Oh, there was the cuuuuuutest patient today--she waved to me from her wheelchair as she awaited an escort to transport her off the floor. She had the biggest smile on her face! Lit up my day! I love genuine enthusiasm! Gusto! Awww, like a puppy--so excited about most anything! :D

Lovely Leaves

I love leaves so much! I am going to share another picture of the glorious color changes found on the east coast :)

Happy Birthday Guru Nanak Dev Ji!

(statement from SALDEF)

Over 500 years ago, Guru Nanak Dev Ji set out on a journey of spreading the messages of peace, love, unity, mutual respect, service and dedication to all of humankind. For Sikhs across the world, today marks a special day of celebrating the birth of our first Guru, the founder of the Sikh faith.

As Sikhs across the world celebrate this day, President Barack Obama issued the following statement:

"I send my best wishes to all those observing the anniversary of the birth of Guru Nanak Dev Ji, the first Sikh Guru. On this occasion, we are reminded of the fundamental principles of Sikhism, including the equality of all people, the sanctity of living an honest life, and the importance of service to our neighbors."

It's Autumn!!

My most favorite season! I love the colors! They make me feel alive! Such a burst of glory! The reds! The yellows! The oranges! Uh-Maaaazing! It's like trees put on one final spectacle of vibrancy before they enter hibernation through the winter. It's inspiring!

I feel so thankful for being able to experience this! It makes me feel grateful for being on the east coast!

tired days

i haven't updated in a while (over a year!)...got sucked into work, school, and life. priorities shifted. i'm still having trouble expressing myself so i'm going to make more of a consistent effort to post.

i am thankful for the opportunity to work this past weekend and today. i am looking forward to having some spending monies (finally!). life is grand and imma drop a grand as i enjoy it to its fullest--hella hedonistic, say whaaaaa, jaykay dawg

anyhow, i am thankful for great people in my life. i may have trouble with words but i have found a handful of people who i am able to communicate with without struggling to express myself. its that sense of understanding and feeling of acceptance which resonates.

i feel like this world is an amazing opportunity for self-discovery and self-actualization. i am in the midst of accepting the daunting yet gratifying challenge to do so.

it takes ONE to know ONE.
by letting go of expectations (constructs of the mind), you can be open to the amazing, limitless world of opportunity and creativity. bonds on the atomic through emotional levels. open up and connect with others. constructs of the mind may prove useful to house difficult emotions or express abundant joy.

my language may seem esoteric and nebulous. its hard for me to confine my views into specific words. i can feel myself turning away in apathy. what's the use? why does it matter? i understand i'm here now and i should learn to make the most of it. i'm learning to let go of struggling to be who i believe i should be and accepting myself for who i am. i resonate with people who understand the significance of life and don't waste their time discussing it--rather their actions express their intentions and beliefs. life's too short. live it!

i'm thankful for the internet.

patients teaching me patience

i've been learning to have more patience with myself. i feel like i expect so much out of myself. out of life. i have this anxious urgency that i will not be able to actualize my potential (and save the world) because of the uncertainty of life. how can i be so sure i'll be here tomorrow. or the next day? i feel like i'm gripping onto the present...clawing at it to not let go. i'm scared to fall into the unknown. i'm here now. this is what i know. this is where happiness is possible. maybe i've just fixated on it as a goal. like one of these days, I WILL BE HAPPY! maybe i need to accept all of it as part of life and not focus on the positive. it is all me.

i learn so much from my patients. they teach me how to appreciate my life...all that i have. i've had moments with some which seem to withstand time. as i think of them, they flicker like movie stills depicting love and understanding...a pale, elderly latina woman with gray hair down her back reaching up to hold my face and tell me how beautiful i was as i was doing hourly rounds...a demented african american woman asking me to sit next to her as the sun rose and she earnestly explained how she wanted "so much for me"...a WWII veteran who looked me in my eyes and said thank you as i reminded him he was here now and we were here to take care of him.

i've had so many amazing experiences. when a person's health is on the line...their fears are exposed and everything comes to the surface. the least i can do is simply be there and listen to them while they're going through it all.

life is so peculiar. and fascinating at the same time

something learned: funerals use to be held in people's homes up until the 1950s. living rooms use to be known as parlors. death moved outside the house with the rise of the hospital.

something different: i am feeling overwhelmed with work, trying to find time to volunteer, be artistic, manage my finances, spend time with friends...i feel like i'm going to explode if i don't do something soon. my heart is telling me to move back to california.

something grateful: i'm thankful for the opportunity to spend this time on my own. i was looking at my maryland license the other day and noticed the crab. i'm a cancer. i've come to a state where i can crawl into my shell (ha!)

Hello world!

I've been meaning to start this blog for a while and now have finally found the time to. I feel like I'm in the initial phases of settling down. A new city (well, trial 2). A new job. A new nursing specialty. A new (used) car. I feel like I'm slowly beginning to become an adult. What is an adult? For me, right now, it's someone who speaks the truth, gives back, serves themselves and the greater good. I'm learning to take responsibility for myself and be the person I envision myself to be. This means being proactive about seeking opportunities to actually grow and mature along my journey in life.

For a while, I had lost my faith in words. I was not part of this world. My reality was one in which words were pathetic attempts to convey the Ultimate Reality. Slowly but surely, I've learned to respect words once again. In the beginning, there was the word. Words are powerful means to speak the truth. They are a gift from the Ultimate Reality. They should be used with reverence. It is only through practicing mindful awareness does one understand this point...I've only been able to fathom this after putting in the work and effort to ground myself to the present moment. Only in the present is happiness possible.

My life has changed. I look forward to embarking on each day. It is not the end, but the journey which matters. I do have to remind myself to have more patience. I want to be the accomplished person I know I am capable of becoming, right now. I often fixate on how it's unfair that I'm not able to be that person right now. And then I remember to breathe and come back to the present. The seeds are being sown now and will blossom when the time is right. Only then will the plant be able to bear fruit.

Anyhow, I went off on a tangent. This blog is my opportunity to share the immense gratitude I have for life with the universe. I will be updating with things I've learned, things I could have done differently, and of course, things I'm grateful for...starting now!

something learned: The basal metabolic rate (BMR) is the amount of energy necessary to maintain your body. In the average person, this is about 1200-1800 cal/day. You can find a rough estimate of your BMR by multiplying your body weight in pounds by 10. The brain takes about 1/5 of our BMR!! The amount stays about the same, even when we are very mentally active.

something different: I could have organized my day off today a little differently in order to be a little more productive. starting now, I will endeavor to do that :)

something grateful: I'm absolutely grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. I just finished reading my best friend, Genevieve's blog and was so happy! She's an incredibly talented artist who channels her heart and puts in the work to actualize her vision. I love love love her :)

farewell and blessings!

xoxo